scream and shout and tell everybody that you're gonna leave.
i'm so tired right now. i've been writing joeys report and shit. but i love him so i suppose it's alright.
i dunno what he will do when i move.
replace me maybe?
my fingers are stained red from berries.
i feel like there is blood on my hands.
i've always been dramatic.
earlier today i tried to explain how blood looked gorgeous on my skin.
the person i was talking to cried.
i hate hearing people cry.
it makes me have panic attacks.
i saw a girl with a yellow rain coat on.
i wanted to say hello to her.
and maybe a few years ago, i would have.
i'm too afraid now.
addy keeps coming over and we watch disney movies and feel nosalgic.
are we even old enough to feel nostalgic?
sometimes i feel very old when i miss things.
i'm only eighteen.
and i feel like my life is over already.
everyone keeps bugging me to make a blog.
maybe this gives them a small window to peak through, and see my brain.
my thoughts.
or maybe i just amuse them with my intense rambling about nothing.
i haven't talked to this person in almost a week.
four more days.
i wanted to see if i could and, i can.
that scares me. i thought i needed them.
i cannot sleep.
i want to write but i can only seem to write when i'm talking to onyx now.
isn't that weird?
sometimes when i breathe, it takes too much effort.
my brother called me an hour ago to tell me to go to bed.
he has it so easy.
he has the perfect little life now.
he's fucking happy and he's gorgeous and just.
i love him but fuck, i'm so jealous.
i.am.so.jealous.
i can't see anything anymore. everything is blurry.
i need to get my glasses soon.
today i cleaned the living room and i couldn't stop. is that normal?
i wanted to stop but i just couldn't.
no one is online.
no one is texting me.
everyone is at school or work.
i am alone. in my house with my psycho cat. she purrs at me and then bites me.
ah.
i love this song.
nevershoutnever!
idk. someone just ask to call me x) please?
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