and if i weren't so young, stupid, or restless~~~

today i realized something.
i am not a bad person.
jesus.
that has taken me forever to realize. thank you, Ashley. really.
i kinda wanna call you a bitch. but then i kinda wanna call you baby bear, too. it's weird.
i have mixed emotions. and that's okay.
laureen, you're perfect. i hate your family. but. i still wanna marry you.
new york boy, i'm over you. no more. no more.
onyx, i love you. you're perfect too. imperfectly perfect. just like you like.
please sketch me my tattoo sometime soon?
skottie. eat for me. please. i'll even make you special soup. i can make good homemade chicken soup.
moe. i know you're scared. but. i'm scared about college. lets be scared together.
lucas. it's going to be okay. everything is. trust that.



alright.
so here it is.
i'm a mess. a god damn mess. a fucking mess. a really really bad mess.
but i try. i do. i am not a bad person. i'm just. odd. i care about people in my own way.
but i will show it more. i promise.
i will show you all that i care more.
i'm never going to let myself feel as horrible as i just felt a little bit ago.
never again.
never.

i love you. really. honest to god i do. and i hope this makes you smile. and i hope this makes your pretty eyes light up. and i know you know this is for you. i'm going to be better now. i'm gonna love you like you deserve.

oh.
and fuck you, by the way. i'm better off without you.

KAY I NEED WATER AND SLEEP AND AND YEAH. CAUSE IMMA KITTY AND KITTIES SLEEP 18 HOURS A DAY.
BYEE.