don't be so amazing, or i'll miss you too much.

I fell in love with your heart at first,
The way it beat against your ribcage so musically,
Like it was playing the piano instead of pumping blood.
Your flesh was pale and your dark blue veins were painted across your wrist.
Like little waves,
Diving in between the scars and pale skin.

Next were your eyes.
The way they would show your soul in the right kind of light.
The way they reminded me of home.
They were the color of the ocean on a stormy day.
You were so deadly,
Yet so fragile.


Your hair smelled like vanilla.
Like when you have a vanilla ice cream cone,
And it is a million and five degrees outside,
And it falls onto the sidewalk and melts.
You reminded me of summer days and when life used to be simple.

I fell even more in love with you when you got hit by that car,
Because I was the kind of person who wanted something they couldn’t have.
Now when I think of your heart and eyes and perfect bones,
I see them against the cement in one big puddle of crimson.
[Your death is the reason I love you the most.]




your shirt encases my pillow. your voice stays on my answering machine. your paintings hang on my walls.
my heart still belongs to you.

icannotstopdreamingabouthim.